Atheism for Lent - Week 2: A Reflection
Updated: Mar 11, 2020
I'm not sure what I expected...but woah. Week one's plea to "take a step back" and "reserve judgment" in order to interact with the ideas was a constant reminder this week as we interacted with several atheist thinkers.
I hate feeling stupid, and this week made me genuinely question some things I didn't realize I was still holding on to. As if holing on to these things was useless for someone with enough intellect to see beyond them. Those thoughts and feelings did pass, though. And what I was left with were simply questions. Good questions. What am I feeling? Why do I feel this way? Why am I reacting the way I am?
Turns out, even here at the beginning, that a journey into atheist thought is equally a journey into myself as well.
I hesitantly began this week’s exploration of the athiests’ critique of Christianity, but by the end of the week, I’m appreciative of the experience. From my perspective of the material, the critiques either centered around the existence of a god, or on observed hypocrisy of Christians (specifically, those who held positions of power in either the church or government). The earlier Greek critics seemed more interested in approaching others to dialog. The later critics seem more interested in convincing an audience of their belief. It seems that as Christianity grew (along with pride and certainty), the opposition grew in certainty as well. As pride increased, divisiveness did too? I noticed an increased absence of hope in the arguments of the latter critics.
Although my perception of God had already evolved prior to AFL from that of a benevolent all-powerful father to more of a spiritual connectedness of everything, my own experiences and tendencies continue to believe that there are still unexplainable aspects to this life. I enjoy ruminating on the origin and meaning of the unexplainable. And maybe, I’m not looking to find concrete explanations to all the mystery. Because the mysteries are the things that make this life so interesting.
The atheist may tell me that I’m creating God in my own image. I wouldn’t have a solid rebuttal to that accusation. The mind is a mysterious place. Who can tell?
“A week long funeral”
Whenever I look back, I can’t imagine a time where I wasn’t deconstructing my faith views and spiritual practices. But I am 33 now and that’s been a long time.
Last week was difficult.
Every day was a memorial to a belief that I once held and is now dead. 33 years of views I no longer hold rolled into one week.
I took Sunday off.