Happy Anniversary

I want to be hopeful. I should be hopeful. I’ve been fortunate. I still have a job. My family has been fortunate enough to be fairly unscathed by COVID. But as we’re coming up on the 1 year anniversary of the pandemic lock-down, I’m honestly feeling depressed.

It’s not just because I miss people. It’s not just because of politics. It’s not just because of climate change. It’s not just because of catastrophe after catastrophe. It’s because of all of it.

And it’s because none of this feels like it’s going to end.

My daughter was running and fell. Hard. Like Pete Rose diving into home plate...but there was no home plate. Just a tile floor and a a wall. I held her while she screamed. I shushed her and told her it will be okay and she said, “No! I’ll never be okay! I don’t want to be okay!”

So I held her.

And eventually, she was okay. Eventually, she stopped crying. Eventually, she was running and playing again. Eventually, it had been weeks since it happened. Eventually, it was only a memory.

I know that this will all pass. Things will get better. They will get worse. And then they will get better again. But today, I’m taking a page from my daughter. Today, I’m going to stop bypassing my feelings. Today, I’m making time to be sad.

Because eventually, the tears will stop. Eventually, today will pass. Eventually, this will be weeks since this happened. Eventually, this will be a memory. But today. Right now. I am sad. And I’m going to be sad until the sadness stops.