Yesterday, I celebrated my son’s birthday. Birthdays for young children are always challenging. No matter how much you plan or prepare, it always ends up being more stressful than excepted. But this was different.
Thanks to COVID, we weren’t planning on doing anything. Second straight year of an in home celebration without any friends or family. Stuck inside explaining to my 5 year old why no one will be coming to celebrate his birthday.
But we were determined to celebrate it. So a week and a half out, we sent out invites to a few families and hoped for the best. At the time, the weather said it was going to be raining this weekend. It rained all week, but on Saturday the sun finally came out and on Sunday it was beautiful with pockets of overcast skies.
People showed up. Adults wore masks. We all stayed outside socially distancing. But we ate food, had drinks, ate too much cake, sat together, talked, watch children run and laugh and play and take turns on the swing hanging from the big oak tree in our front yard. We celebrated.
I had so many other things that I wanted to write about. I started and stopped this post so many times. Going back to my “into the grey” series; social commentary on the race issues in the country; experiences with law enforcement. So many topics ran through my head.
But I don’t want to write about any of them.
2021 started hopeful for all of 5 days and quickly went to hell. I spent the first few months in a depression I had new clue how to get out of or if it was going to end. But today, right now, I’m sitting in Panera fighting back tears because I’m so happy.
I’m overjoyed with everyone who came together, all different political views, all different sexual orientations, all different across the spectrum for religious views. But we sat together, we ate together, we listened to each other, we talked, we laughed, we watched children play, we celebrated the life of my son, we celebrated each other, we celebrated the beautiful weather.
Right now, I’m just overjoyed. And this is all I want to think about at this moment.
Wherever you are in this world. Whatever is going on in your life. Whatever darkness or grief. I wanted to share this joy with you in hopes that you will sit in it and feel a piece of it. I hope that the hope I’m feeling at this moment, comes through this screen and takes up residency in your mind (even if only for a moment).
In a few minutes, I will get up and walk out. All of my problems will still be waiting for me. The world will still be the world. But right now, I am overjoyed and all I wanted to do was take time to share this with you. Across however many miles, thank you for sitting in this joy with me.
Thank you for baring witness with me. Though we’ll never meet, I love you and appreciate you. Thank you for sitting in this joy with me.